We did not choose to stop seeing our children…


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As a recipient of abuse caused by the actions of an alienating former spouse, we understand what the term “victim” truly is.  One day, we were normal and happy and secure in our lives and suddenly, we find ourselves embroiled in a battle to enjoy the comfort and love of our children.

Certainly, this is not something we ever imagined would enter our lives, but it did and not without severe consequences.  Suddenly and without warning, we find ourselves in a constant state of fear, heartache and depression as the looming battle draws ever closer to us.  There would be days and nights when we would feel mentally and emotionally incapacitated and wanted nothing more than to rest.

However, this was not possible because of the vicious attacks that were mounted against us by the one person we thought we could trust.  We could not.  Instead, we were betrayed.  It was not our fault that we chose to seek happiness with someone who could never give us the love and loyalty we sought.  These people disguise themselves with such cleverness and deceive all in their path.

Not only did they portray themselves in a normal and trustworthy fashion to us, they did the same to others including, their friends, their attorneys, the family court judges and most significantly, our children.  They betrayed us all through their lies and manipulation and they were believed by all.

We know the truth because, we are living the nightmare each and every day.  We are the ones who are forced to endure the pain and suffering they inject into our lives and many times, powerless to stop them.  Even, our closest family members and friends stand in wonderment as they see us go through the process of alienation and ponder if we are not the guilty ones.

Many times, we are not.  We did not choose to stop seeing our children.  We did not choose to stop attending their school functions nor, did we choose to stop being in their lives.  These are things that the alienating parent caused.

Make no mistake, you and your children are the victims in this madness of parental alienation.  Do not allow the voices or opinions of others who do not know the facts to convince you otherwise.  Unless, you were mentally, emotionally, physically abusive to your former spouse or child in the most extreme ways, you are not at fault and did not did not deserve to lose your children!

This is why we must fight back with every fiber of our being.  You can never throw up the white flag of surrender and must continue to do all that is necessary to be in your children’s lives again.  Sometimes, you will have victory earlier than others.  Then again, it may take more time than you ever expected or thought you could endure, but you will.

When the day comes and all your efforts are finally realized in fruition, you will no longer be the victim.  However, this is when your former spouse and their enablers will suddenly cry foul.  They will say you caused all the problems they now suffer and will place blame upon your shoulders.

Do not be swayed into a false sense of remorse for what you knew had to be done in the effort to be in your child’s life again.  The alienator felt no pity for you.  In fact, they many times took great pleasure in seeing you consumed with emotional pain and suffering.  When the day arrives and the tables are turned, show compassion for the sake of your child, but do not feel sorry for them.

Your alienator put themselves into this position because, of their incessant need of revenge.  Do not listen to the voice of your former spouse as, they scream into your ears and say, it is your fault and they are the victim.  This is nothing more than the act of self-victimization.


2 thoughts on “We did not choose to stop seeing our children…

  1. John Ahern Wow. Great article. My 3 boys have been completely alienated from me. This article hit the nail on the head. Made me feel a little better. Thank you.

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