Another dad is gone… and so this is Christmas and Cafcass, what have you done?

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A campaigner against parental alienation sent this heart-breaking message to the consumerwatchfoundation.com after yet another father took his life on the build-up to Christmas.

Dean Adams, a member of a number of groups campaigning against Parental Alienation, sent this and we publish it in his own words:

“This draconian system needs too hang its head in shame – another man has taken his life and left his daughter without a father, she won’t ever see him again.

I wish I could do a lot more as this can’t keep happening, numb ain’t the word. Didn’t know the father, yet in some crazy way I knew what was going through his mind. People, we need to get something done about this or the system won’t be right until they kill us all off.

Dean Adams, from Swansea

Just been laying in bed for the last few hours and I can’t get the vision out of my head, thinking about the man’s family and friends.
Can’t see me getting much sleep tonight, too many things going through my mind on how we can help the people who feel suicidal.

The whole country needs too stand up and help us find a solution to stop this from happening to alienated parents who get too the stage where they start thinking about taking their lives it’s criminal it really is.
I haven’t got any answers, but together were stronger we need to reach out more too help these parents to cope with the thought of ending their lives.
Any suggestions are extremely welcome.
God bless his family and friends.

 

***

 

“I actually fell asleep at 4:30am – I’ve woke up talking to myself in the past… but for the first time that I can actually remember I woke up crying.

I can’t go on enough about how the system doesn’t give two hoots about the lives that are being lost through parental alienation,well like I said earlier I haven’t got any answers to this but by damn, I am going to get my head sorted first regarding it –  it is very close to what I’ve been through.
And I will make a statement now that as I fight to be in my son’s life, I’m going to have a chat to a few people  about trying to get something together to help people that get the point of no return.

I can’t say too much as I have a battle which I need to get through first.
But we shall try our best to figure out some sort of strategy to help everyone who is going through this and has come too the end …an elastic band can only stretch so far before it snaps.
I could go on and on about this but words are nowhere near enough, actions speak louder than words GREAT BRITAIN wake up before more children have to go through this PLEASE…”

 

Andrew John Teague, co-organiser of National Association of Alienated Parents and D.A.D.s (Dads against double standards) of which Dean is a member, said: “There is so much wrong with this screwed system… this a time of joy and so many hurting and suffering. Another life senselessly lost to the pain of being torn from his child, so heartbreaking.”

All parents, MPs and social workers should be asking one thing … Cafcass, what are you doing to stop this awful tyranny of despair?

International Men’s Day recently highlighted issues that men face on a global scale and encouraged people to have open conversations about mental health and suicide.

Andrew, from Swansea, said: “It’s an epidemic – I’ve not heard from one I spoke to a couple of nights ago who was taken into hospital.

“In the case of parental alienation, how do you cope with knowing your not seeing you children for Christmas and not even knowing when you will ever see them?

“It cripples me having to deal and help these vulnerable parents.

“I’m not ashamed to say I have had tears roll down my face.

“There needs to be reform before more and more become just another statistic.

“It’s barbaric the way these parents are treated.”

But Andrew also points out that it’s not only dads who are driven to end it all. He has had to deal with mums and grandparents who feel they’ve reached the end of the line.  He said: “A mum was rushed into hospital lucky to be alive. She had to be revived. She has endured over four years fighting for her children.
“I can understand what the mother of the two children has gone through, heart-breaking.
“But I can only imagine the pain, hurt and suffering the family must feel seeing their daughter in this condition and feeling powerless to do anything.
“How many more need to go through this? It’s hell on earth for any parent, grandparent and family members.”

The number of grandparents taking their own lives after being cut off from their grandchildren has been highlighted by an MP.

Nigel Huddleston  says that at least ten people have killed themselves following family splits. Campaigners want the law changed so kids have a right to see their grandparents.

Mr Huddleston told MPs of the tragedies at a Westminster debate. Grandparents  have no real control over access  and growing numbers are turning to the courts for help. But for some the battle is just too much.

Andrew: “I have spoken to 100 or so members in the last year who have been suicidal and I know of many who have survived overdoses and self-medication with alcohol.

“The awful thing is that many parents become alienated from their children because of manipulation and lies and because of the unfairness of it all and anxiety if it all they get depressed – and their depression is used against them by social workers in court to prove their not fit to be parents!”

In the UK, men are three times more likely than women to take their own lives, according to emotional support charity Samaritans and a campaigning group claims suicide is the highest cause of death among men under the age 45 in the UK.

Project 84, a campaign aimed at raising awareness, recently staged 84 human sculptures in Central London,  representing the reality of the men who sadly take their lives each week.

CWF news

Leigh G Banks is a former Fleet Street journalist, now a writer and broadcaster with RTI.fm

3 thoughts on “Another dad is gone… and so this is Christmas and Cafcass, what have you done?

  1. As an alienated mother I used to take offense to the coined term “alienated dads” I also felt extremely discriminated against because I wasnt a Dad and could not seem to get anyone to understand what I was going through because alienated mothers just wernt heard of back then and resources to help being specifically organized for helping alienated fathers made me feel as though they werent established to help alienated mothers. I no longer take offense ….I no longer seperate myself from alienated Dads. I read all these heartfelt stories and instantly identify with the gut wrenching court process and I look back on my own personal court history and shudder at the thought of a justice system designed for my childs best interests making life altering decisions that sever parent child relationships without the blink of an eye. With the latest #me too movement and the enormous amounts of publicity such movement attracted I wonder if we could start a movement in the same way. I would like to suggest “#another Dad gone” or “#Im an alienated father” because let’s face it the coined term is widely accepted and acknowledged in a social setting and at this point I would rather be apart of something that brings about public awareness and change. #Im an alienated father could tweet pic and message to the child or children we are alienated from in Hope’s that one day they will see it and realize we never abandon them. We long for them, we cant gorget about them or give up the fight. Kids and social media is inevitable and wouldnt it be great if an alienated child had a resource or website reference to be able to search by alienated parents name to recieve that alienated parents message, tangible proof of the child being wanted, loved and forever apart of targeted parents life. Wouldnt that be a great way to reach our children and possibly an undetected way to communicate as we all know learned memories are achievable because the alienating parent utilizes there parental control to sever communication leaving child to feel abandoned and more apt to believe the false memories being fed to them by there narcissistic parent. The most simple luxury in life the ability to exercise your right to parent , to be able to socially document your refusal to lay down and accept defeat by simply telling your child you love them could save a father (or mother) from suicide from losing hope and from giving up . I would be proud to be the first woman to post my picture under #im an alienated father .

  2. All parents in the uk need to wake up to whats happening .
    All the parents who this is happening to should come forward and help all the parents protesting to put a stop to this
    Cafcass and social services will continue to get away with what they are doing to families until we all stand together.

  3. Darren Farrell I think you would find if you took into account of dad’s nearing this point the figures would be scary. The so called justice system in the UK pushes once sane people to their limits and beyond and breaks them. Why? All because they want to be an EQUAL PARENT. I hate this country and all it stands for now and I spend almost 6 years serving queen and country. An absolute joke of a country now

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