There was a time in our lives when we all knew happiness and peace was our friend. The days were filled with blue skies and sunshine as the clouds above gently drifted by. With a light breeze upon us, we felt alive and full of vigour as though, no heartache or pain would ever enter our lives.
These were the days when we were free to love and be loved by our children.
Forever treasured and sealed in our hearts are the indelible memories of when we first held our baby child for the very first time. It was a moment of sheer joy in knowing we were part of someone and would be forever bound with one another throughout all the ages. We made our silent promise to this child to always love, protect and guide them as they grew.
It was on the day they took their first step that our hearts leap with great joy. How they had grown in just a short time and go from wiggling to crawling and finally, walking. This was just the beginning of our journey with the children born of us. There would certainly be many great adventures waiting for us around the corner and we couldn’t wait for them to begin.
Unfortunately, things do not always turn out as we had envisioned. In fact, there times in our lives when we are forced to delay our plans due to unforeseen events. Sometimes, this is only a minor inconvenience that causes us to wait for better timing. Then again, life circumstances occasionally enter our lives in such a way, we have no control over it.
One of these situations involves the dissolution of our marriage and when children are involved, any future plans we once made, are placed on indefinite hold. We can only hope there will be a peaceful resolution and we are able to continue the relationship we have with our children. A relationship that allows us to be the parent that our child needs.
Unfortunately, this is not always how things turn out. When this happens, there are no blue skies, no sunshine and certainly, no rainbows. The gentle breeze that once felt so good on our skin, has now become a gale force wind and there is nothing we can do to stop it. No matter how hard to try to protect ourselves from the elements, we will surely suffer from its effects.
All those plans we made for the future involving our children are now gone. There will be no great adventures where beautiful memories are created and stored in our minds for future times when we need joyful recollections. Seeing our son or daughter as they go to the school prom is something that does not happen. The same for graduation, as an invitation never arrives.
It need not have turned out this way, but we were caught off guard in our unwitting choice of who we thought would be our partner for life. They turned out to be someone foreign to us and we did not even know them. They deceived us and eventually, betrayed the love we once had for them. For them, we were merely a convenience of the times who served their purpose of the moment.
When difficulties emerged in our marriages and breakdown was inevitable, we were made to feel their wrath as they unleashed it in the most egregious manner possible. They sought to destroy us in a way that would cripple anyone mentally and emotionally and that is through our children. There will be no stopping them.
In their quest for revenge, they robbed us of what should have been. What could have been and what we and our children had been. The memories you were expecting to happen, never took place because of an alienating ex-spouse. For now, all you have is what we had in the past and that is, memories of better times with our children.
Let’s not forget them or lose hope that a time will come when you will be reunited and have the second chance to make new memories!
By David R Shubert
Read more of my reflections in my book “Parental Alienation is ABUSE” found at Amazon or Amazon Kindle for your local country.