For some reason, there are some people in this world who feel that when they become a parent they have the inherent right to treat their child as a possession.
For them, it is not about what is in a child’s best interest, but rather what gives this parent the most amount of self-gratification. After all, in their mindset they helped in the creation of this child and they now own them.
This is simply not true. Children are not objects. They are instead, living, breathing human beings who deserve our love and protection. It is our duty as a parent to supply them with all their needs to have a happy and healthy upbringing during their more formative years. They do not expect us to treat them in any other manner than what a good parent should.
However, this does not always happen especially, in cases of highly toxic divorces where one parent is willing to do everything in their power to erase all traces of a failed relationship. They are unable to see past their own hatred and become vindictive to their former spouse. If this means destroying the targeted parent mentally and emotionally, they will do so at all costs.
This process may begin with berating them, telling lies to mutual friends or family and introducing false allegations in the family courts. However, the most harmful act these toxic parents do is when they alienate their child from the victim parent. This may come in the form of denied visitations, threatening to withhold love if the child does not conform to their own wrongful thoughts and actions.
This alienating parent may try to erase all memories of the other half of who this child is. If this fails, the child may be told lies about their mom or dad in the effort to cause extreme anger, hatred and utter disgust against the absent parent. In the end, a parent/child relationship is broken and very difficult to fix. It may take months or even years before normalcy resumes and bonds are finally mended if, ever.
Parental alienation is often equated as an extreme form of mental and emotional abuse. These alienators feel they are hurting just the main object of their scorn, but this effects the child, as well. They are manipulated and twisted in a manner that no child should ever have to endure. As a result they, many times will develop issues in their young life that are not healthy or normal for their ages.
When society does finally begin to understand that parental alienation is real and does hurt the innocent at far higher levels than most ever know perhaps, then we can change our laws to promote family unity. Until then, more and more parents and their children will suffer needlessly for no other reason than to quench the unquenchable thirst of a vindictive alienator.
Our children deserve better. They need to know they have both, a mom and a dad who will be in their lives to love, protect and guide them. They need to understand they are important. If we fail in our duties then, we have failed at being a parent. Our children are not objects to be owned by us. Instead, we are caretakers of them and must do all in our power to watch over them with unending love.
For now, our laws and the actions of many family court judges enable these parents to continue what they do. As a result, our children become objects and not human beings that are used in a battle that should never take place. For me, I will never stop fighting to restore happiness to my child’s life. What I know is, my children are not objects.
By David R Shubert
Read more of my reflections in my book “Parental Alienation is ABUSE” found at Amazon or Amazon Kindle for your local country.