A heart-breakingly simple question for an absent parent… do you miss your children?


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There is never a moment in my life when I do not think about the love and memories that should have taken place between my children and I.  The emptiness seems to go on forever.  No matter how hard I try, I am simply unable to shake the void in my heart.

This is what an alienated parent feels and experiences daily.  There is no reprieve from the suffering we and our children are forced to endure.  Our tormentors will not allow us peace nor, happiness as they seek to harm us mentally and emotionally.  Yet, we seem to endure by a single strand of hope that one day we will be reunited with our children.

No matter, the days or weeks, months or even, years, we hold on to the belief of holding our children in our arms again.  Perhaps, we will be old and grey before this happens, but our hope sustains us as we continue our struggles of reunification.  Without this, we would become another hopeless statistic that no one will ever care or remember.

For those who cause us such pain and anguish, they are simply devoid of any moral compass and a destroyer of all that is good.  They portray themselves as righteous individuals, but are in fact quite the opposite.  They are incapable of love, loyalty or humanistic feelings.

How can we as a whole, civilized society of modern people ignore what is happening to the very fabric of family unities?  Have we suddenly lost our ability to love, teach and raise our children in a manner that is conducive to what we want for ourselves or did we suddenly decide that self-gratification through revenge was more important?

I fail to understand the concept that some immoral parents gravitate towards.  Somehow, they feel their own personal needs outweigh those of their children.  When this happens, they are no longer a responsible and loving parent.  This is when they become the nightmare that enters the dreams of their children.

On the other hand, you have an absent mother or father who only wants to love, shelter and protect their children from all harm.  They fight tooth and nail in order to do so.  However, this is not always enough.

The alienator fights viciously and recruits everyone around them in their bid to destroy the object of hatred.  This means, their army is strong through lies, manipulation and deception.  They convince their family, friends and even, the family courts of their genuine personality and desire to protect the children.  All the while, they keep the mask of deception cinched up close to conceal their true identity.

We know who they really are and what they are capable of doing.  Some are so skillful in their craft, they could tell someone the sky is purple and the listener would believe them.  If only they would open the window and peer out, they would find out the truth.

In the meantime, we parents, our children and extended family members are subject to the abuse that is perpetrated against through the wrongful and vindictive actions of a former partner or spouse.  Further, alienators are aided by the enabling family courts when this occurs and I wonder how much longer we will have to suffer.  Surely, there must come a time when we can find peace and happiness again.

For some alienated parents who have been made to agonize so much, for so long they have chosen to let go in their effort to regain a sense of normality again.  Other, still struggle on a daily basis.  In the end, do you miss your children?


8 thoughts on “A heart-breakingly simple question for an absent parent… do you miss your children?

  1. Laurence NorwinAllen Every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the last 34 years.

    I now have two grandsons I have never met. Do they even know I exist?

  2. My wife has only been able to see her two boys the last few months for seven hours every other week.
    One sister has told my wife that she is lucky to see her children at all.

    We are presently briefing a new attorney…


  3. A huge piece of my heart is gone. I haven’t seen two of my grandkids in three years. My heart breaks everyday. Not only for me but for my son (their father) and their cousins. It’s as if they died. This has to stop, now! We can’t take it much longer. The courts are so twisted in these matters. How do the judges sleep at night?

  4. Do I miss my kids. It’s more then miss…you mourn your living children. My health has broken down to serious degrees since losing all contact almost 7 years ago. No parent should have to go through this pain.

  5. We have not seen my step-son in 3 years. The pain our daughters and we feel is indescribable. It is a feeling no one should be forced to feel.

  6. I miss them like nothing else and the pain gets worse as I just got word I now will miss my first grand child a little girl name not known but I’ll love her in my heart anyway

  7. It is just an unrelenting pain that impacts the whole alienated family. Alienated children are also cousins, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. They are missed by every single member of their family. It is the most devastating grief because there is no resolution. It is a living bereavement. Whilst we live our own sadness, we also know the damage that is happening to the alienated child. You worry constantly about how they will get through this. They are your first thought every morning and your last thought every night. It is even worse than having a child kidnapped. You have no idea what is happening to them and when or if you will ever see them again. The saddest part is that it is not illegal and so the alienator gets away with it.

  8. It never goes away. I try to compartmentalize the pain, but it rarely works. I know my daughter is OK. Healthy, has friends and attends school. But that’s about it. It is an unexplainable existence, with a basic pain that ebbs and flows but never completely dissipates. Years in court, years of being treated rudely by my daughter and the jabs from my ex-wife and her family have left me sad and often bitter. Thank God for a good support network and meds.

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