When we have known peace and happiness, it is without doubt the most blissful experience in our lives. There are many times, we hope and pray this will always be part of our existence. Without doubt, when we find that special person to share it with and eventually, create offspring we are even more blessed in our existence. We now have purpose.
We work hard to insure that everything is in order and our futures are secure. Nothing can stop us from reaching the next level of tranquility as long as, we remain focused on all that is important. Unfortunately our partner, our spouse may not hold the same values as we do and when this occurs a breakdown is inevitable in our family lives.
It does not affect just us, as individuals who were married to our significant other. Instead, it creates heartache for our children and we, who we were sworn to protect them at all costs. We do our best, but sometimes it is not enough and they suffer the same injustices we do, as a loving parent.
Between the egregious lies told about us to family, friends and the family courts, we are made to defend ourselves in ways we thought would never be necessary. The wrongful actions brought against us are overwhelming and we feel powerless to stop them. How can someone who once mouthed the words “I love you” commit such atrocious deeds?
Is it not enough that we have lost our family home, our present and future financial savings? Is it necessary that our former spouse must destroy us by stabbing us in the emotional heart by alienating us from our children? How much more abuse must they inflict upon us before they are satisfied and their thirst of revenge is quenched?
These are questions that only the alienator can answer. In the meantime, we are simply puppets and they are pulling the strings as we dance to the insidiousness of what they command. We have no control over our lifeless limbs and just flop from side to side as they continue to manipulate our movements. For them, it is a pleasure to see us suffer and for us and our children, it is agony.
Over time, we grew tired of what we were subjected to and begin to evolve. In the beginning, we felt weak, tired and powerless against what we were thrown up against. Then, as time went by we became someone else and it was a person of immense anger. We could no longer hold back all the emotions that were welling up inside us.
Out of nowhere and without thought, we became the person we no longer recognized. It was not the individual who once embraced all that life had to offer in terms of, what made us happy. Instead, we became the person who decided we could no longer stand back on the sidelines and be the victim. We felt anger and we felt hostility and we were tired of being the victim.
Now, when we are forced to walk into a courtroom to plea for our rights to be in our children’s lives as a parent, we sometimes are unable to mask this anger. We have been wronged. Our children have been wronged and the person responsible for our downfall as well as, alienation from our children only smiles with contempt.
How can anyone not expect us to be angry? After all, we have lost everything and continue to lose more because of the vindictive actions of our former spouse. Many times, the family courts fail to understand or even realize they can stop this madness, but instead turn a blind eye to what is truly in everyone’s best interest including, and most importantly, our children.
When this happens and they see us with anger in our hearts, the courts rule against us. They see it as something not normal, but they have not traveled down the path of destruction and parental alienation that we have. Had they experienced this, they would be angry too. So, when the judge asks “Am I angry?” the answer is, hell yes and with reason! You and the alienator betrayed my children and I.