Parental alienation … what becomes of the broken-hearted?

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Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen in any parent’s life…

But what if that child is actually living just around the corner from you and, every now and then, you pass on the street but you cannot even acknowledge his or her existence anymore?

And what if that child has attacked you publically and on social media telling the world, naming you and shaming you, exposing you as the worst dad ever and saying how much she hates you?

Welcome to the world of the broken-hearted, a world where, sadly, so many victims of parental alienation are condemned to live.

This man has been in his own world of pain for 17 years while lies and deceit have been used to drive what appears to be a wedge of solid steel between him and his daughter.

But sometimes there is safety in numbers and recently on social media the consumerwatchfoundation.com saw this list of people who have lost contact with their children … we are publishing 45 statements from ordinary people who have lost what is precious to them and then have been forced to lose a little more each day by the law, the courts, CAFCASS and social workers.

Please add your first name, how long you have been alienated from your son or daughter and a short comment. Do not name or identify your exes though.

We want to create a truthful and long-lasting document which can be used to highlight the truth about parental alienation.

Meanwhile, many parents find it so difficult to see their children that despite paying hundreds of pounds in maintenance they are also paying for supervised access. One man says this costs him EIGHTY pounds a time to spend two hours with his child.

Estranged parents – who have perhaps lost all contact because of lies that have been told about them by a bitter ex – are certainly vulnerable and to some suicide can appear to be the only way out.

NACSA,  a lobbying group set up to fight the way the CSA hurt divorced people, actually published an online ‘Book of Death’ listing those who had taken their own lives because of stress and loss.

 Sadly though, this type of comment appears on a daily basis on the Dad’s. Against. Double. Standards site highlighting the real despair parents without custody go through:

“Drunk and giving up on life, no point anymore, never gonna see my daughter grow up into the woman she’ll become…”

“Night all hope the drink and my meds work and I don’t wake up …”

“GOD finding it really hard to put the Christmas tree up my heart is just not in it this year…”

Andrew John Teague, admin at the site,  said: “There is a phenomenon the world over, parental alienation. Hundreds of thousands are denied access to a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents.

 

So, what is the longest time you have been kept from your children due to contact denial and allegations?

Top of Form

 

Dean   12 years now

 

Bryan 7 months

 

Karl  Over a month I feel like I’m losing my mind how can this insanity be legal. Been having migraines from being so stressed out so angry and upset. Especially as I know it’s all from malice from day one of our separation.

 

Michael  Now over two and half years with no end in sight.

 

Emma Nearly 3 years mine and partners eldest we haven’t seen and judge when i went to court granted 0 hours cos she said we had to now wait til our eldest wants to come

 

Jay  5 years got slapped with indirect contact order by a stand in judge because my barrister and the judge from the start were held up in another case asked for a new date for the original judge to deal with knowing that he had warned my ex to stop speaking…

 

Raymond My son was born in December, still not seen him 😢 this group keeps my hopes up though

 

Ian 4 months

 

Andrew  I’m at 2yrs now bcos of lies

 

Danny  7 years

Philip 7 years and it hurts everyday

 

 Jason  I haven’t seen or heard from my sons for nearly 12 years. My ex has remarried, changed her contact details and moved.

 

Jason  Going on 2 years

 

Mark  July 2nd 2014.

 

Mark 20 years for my eldest child. 5 for my eldest daughter.

 

Snowy12 years from my daughter 7 years from my son although I have re-established some contact with him

 

Asad A year on 17th may. Feel like 10.

 

Nick  10 months : (

 

Wes 3 years 2 month. And the lies keep coming!

 

Gabrielle It’s been 5 yrs.

 

Rich  Haven’t seen my children for over a year now, even though I’ve asked and tried to see them my ex ignores my emails and requests yet she’s quick enough to take money off of me for them. She wants me to take her to court to gain access but I just can’t afford it now and she knows it!

 

David A few months at a time, and then randomly

 

Ellis 17 years and counting

 

Campbell 3 year 6 month and ongoing

 

Jason 24 years and after 21 years had the cheek to ask for money

 

Stephen  4 years so far,

 

Rebecca Five years and counting.

 

Peter  I’m at. 2 years and just got not guilty at crown court on her accusations

 

Graham 13 years

 

Matthew  4 months

 

Mark 5 years

 

Shaun 4 heart breaking years 😔

 

Kierlan April 16th 2016 😪😪😪

 

Ali So many alienated parents. 😔

 

Gary 5yrs total + 2yrs partial and on-going…..

 

Paul 5 months partial, now 8 months and counting.

 

Dave This is horrible and so wrong going on 9 months for me feels like 9 years

 

Sinbad 6 years, and then for the last 6 years , six one hour sessions in a contact centre with 2 people watching__ and continuing indefinitely ( he is 16 and only has memories of me in that environment)

 

Archie 17 years fighting. 7 years not seeing.

 

Eamonn 4 years still hard all too old for court now but we’ll poisoned

 

Chris 22 months then allowed to see him twice in a month then 54 weeks now (he is 5) with my youngest.  16 years on my eldest son who is now 26

 

Barbara Over 3 years

 

Karl You know what I’d like to do with everyone’s permission. Is put a load of these comments into coloured words on a massive canvas that draw the image of a young child’s face to publicise our plight?

39 thoughts on “Parental alienation … what becomes of the broken-hearted?

  1. 2 years my Boy. 6years my Girl.Clinically depressed.life has stopped.When will ailianation be recognised for the abuse and torture it is.50/50 parenting is the only answer any civilized person could think was best for a child.We need to get to the politicians why their trying to get elected

  2. I’m vet. She took him away breaking school mid-session at 9 yrs of age..now he’s about 18 yrs. never seen except on FB picture. A gifted child, so Din’t distract his studies by dragging him into court hassles. looks like brainwashed. Wish him to be happy and good future. Have been paying child support and alimony all along as per court order.

  3. Nearly 18 years haven’t seen my son and 14 years my daughter all because I reported domestic violence violence to the police , social services took them on the risk of Future Emotional harm. A mystic meg prediction they use often . I went on to have three more children I was allowed to keep by fleeing to another country and winning my case there 🙂

  4. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thank you, However I am experiencing problems with your RSS. I don’t understand why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  5. I was suggested this web site by way of my cousin. I’m not positive whether or not this publish is written by means of him as nobody else recognise such particular approximately my problem. You are incredible! Thank you!

  6. 9 months for 2 of mine, just lost the 3rd one yesterday after 8 visits in 4 months – pressure from her mum and siblings to reject me was too stressful (actually admitted it) and she decided the only way forward was to adopt the doctrine of the cult.

  7. After countless Family Hearings I have managed 14 days in the year 2017! No reasons given. I was a devoted and loving father for 5 years. Now a whole series of utterly false allegations = This…. Parental Alienation. How does any decent human being cope with being exposed to this evil?

  8. 7 yrs they have been gone…3 no contact and in april 2017 judge suspended my visitation rather than enforce it.

  9. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is great blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

  10. Graham.lies,falsehoods.neglect of children’s rights.neglect by children services,neglect of basic human rights,blackmail.child abuse sanctioned by the family courts.arse covering.twisting.child constantly asking to see his parents.ABUSED by a totally inadequate family court system.THE FIGHT GOES ON,NEVER GIVE UP.

  11. Went through Court arena for 9 years plus with some contact but lots of unfounded accusations and not only about me but family. Eventually things concluded and now not seen or spoke to for 2 years. Post box contact but no acknowlegement of letters, cards or gifts so not sure if passed on by family members or not.

  12. I am part of this group with my dad I too went through parental alienation and pls take it from me I will be the voice of all ur children and I will stand and speak out to educate people on how it effects there children and there whole lives please do not give up there is hope I waited 11 yrs and I found my dad not all children believe in and they hold on to the thought and the curiosity of there father they end up asking themselves what did I do wrong why doesn’t my dad love me etc them questions burn inside so they eventually come looking for answers so either way they will come looking for u xx

  13. Alienated from two daughters aged 21 and 23 for 3 years now. Thankfully my ex couldn’t alienate me from my eldest and two youngest. The saddest part is that my sister has helped my ex achieve this and both my alienated children are living sad lives as a result.

  14. Death. You know every one will succumb to finality of life eventually. And yet, when death knocks on the door of someone you love, the pain hits. The indescribable pain shocks you to the core. Even though we know it will happen, nothing can really prepare you for it.

    Loosing a child, this is pain beyond pain. Nothing can prepare a parent for this. It is not expected. It should not be expected.

    Death it is so final. A child would not choose to die. A child would not choose to leave a bereft parent. That, may be, an incomprehensible consolation.

    So, what about separation? Being separated from your child. How can you prepare for this? Having your child taken by the only other person you once trusted to love your child as much as you. Having your child choose another family over you. Can you prepare yourself for this?
    Like death, the threat of legal action was inevitable. I knew it would happen. I predicted it. I waited. I knew. I was weak when it first happened. I couldn’t fight.
    So when it happened again, I should have been better prepared. I was not. The pain was just as immeasurable, the shock still numbingly painful, incapacitating to the very core.

    Hearing the children talk with such contempt to me is comparable to free falling without the ‘comfort’ of hitting the ground. Someone has pressed the pause button on my life, I am incapable of moving forward. The fear is indescribable.

    I am not that naive to believe that people don’t judge me, despite their protestations. ‘There is no smoke without fire’ I am still looking for the fire near me. There is no reason for this to happen. I am a loving mum, who is devoted to both her children. Yet, they have both chosen to leave me.

    I want to wrap them up and never let go. I’m terrified that if I hug them, I won’t be able to tear myself away. I want to protect them from the influences that are persuading to leave me. If I do, I will be competing, I will be influencing. If I tell them how much love them, I am manipulating.
    I thought I could be strong & be the lioness protecting her cubs.
    In the end I just need to accept that they don’t want protecting. They don’t want me. I’m surplus to their requirements.
    No parent ever wins this fight. They may get the children but at what cost? The emotional cost to the children will be immense.
    So now, I will just accept that no one wins in this fight and save as much pain as possible. How much does a lioness love her cubs – Enough to know what’s best for them & not me.
    Enough to be there for them whenever they want me.
    Enough to be able to ignore judgements made by people who haven’t had the mis fortune to be in this position.

  15. Alienation started right at 3 years ago. I haven’t seen my kids in almost month now because it just kept growing and growing. Laws and courts and government should be ashamed in the way they are allowing children to be hurt. I am doing all I can do to function on a day to day basis. I just don’t understand how a parent could do things like this to their kids. Anyway, very discouraging and just hope my babies turn out for ok on the backend of this.

  16. 2 painful years of not seeing my little girl and my two boys, been through the family court system and spat out the other side, West Sussex children’s services and children alienated against me, before this they wanted to live with me, ex has moved them away and our older adult are also suffering aw they too have been estranged from their younger siblings

  17. Conversation at social services child protection conference.

    Background.

    Son refuses to see Father, Grandmother etc. Wants to “kill your entire family” etc. Calls Police to detail father has shot him and beaten him when father tells him he will have to do without phone for the evening with father, because son has stolen a watch at school. Police conclude manipulating child, no shooting, no beating.

    Conversation.

    Father “What is most important is to detail what the problem is.”
    Social Services “We know!”
    Father “OK so tell me!”
    Social Services “It is all the horrible things his mother is saying to him about his father!”

    So Social Services have recognised…..

    “We’ll start with him bring re-introduced to you when his Aunt and cousin are over.”

    Didn’t happen.

    Subsequent communication, Social Services: “So nice to meet you and family, xxxxx is taking over this case, pity he did not come at weekend.”

    No subsequent communication from Social Services.

    Is this familiar to anyone?

    Just wanted to know if this was normal? and what we should expect from a child protection team when this has been recognised (finally).

    Thank you all,

    Ben

  18. I have no ways of talking to my children, social services courts everyone backed the I want to live with my dad campaign.
    Only good parents are targets because alienation does not work on parents who don’t give enough.
    All I have left is photos and a broken heart.

  19. I was one of the lucky ones who survived alcoholism. Not so lucky with my 4 children (now adults) forgiving me. My son has not talked to me in over 10 years. He even blocked me all over social media. My 3 daughters have struggled with forgiving me throughout the years. I have been sober for over 11 years. After I made all the amends I could, I decided that the best way to make those amends now is to “live my amends”, meaning I keep living sober and be the mother I never could be. Now they all have issues with alcohol, and the wall between us grows. One has serious medical issues and she won’t let me in her life. I am extremely broken hearted.

  20. I have been alienated from 19 year old son for almost 3 years now. Now it appear to be happening to my youngest, who is 15. I haven’t seen him in almost 3 weeks, even though I’ve been legally award shared custody. He spends a week with me and a week with my ex. One evening, my youngest decided he wasn’t coming on my week to have him. When confronted by local deputy, he told officer he was afraid of me! 21 years of me being an educator and countless neighbors, friends, family who witness his happiness daily while he’s with me . Oh well. The courts don’t care.

  21. On and off since 2012 with all 3 of my children, who are now 18,21 and 23.
    I have seen my 23 year old daughter since 2016 or her daughter (my granddaughter) since 2016. My oldest son 21, just a couple of times since 2016 either. My youngest son, it’s been a roller coaster; and he doesn’t realize he has extreme PAS. They all 3 do.
    I think the biggest mistake I made was not taking full custody of them when I should’ve. Leaving them and not fighting with their father was the worst thing I could’ve done.

  22. 363 days for my youngest and 2,002 days for my oldest… finally had court end my support payments because my youngest is now 18 years old… but that came with a message from my kids saying they never want to hear from me again because I care about money more than them….
    After paying $70,000 in child support to their mother, they still have the nerve to say mom paid for everything and I’m just a deatbeat….
    Enough is enough… in the new year, I’m going to change my will, so that my step-kids will inherit my home and RSP’s… as for my kids, or should I say, my EX wife’s kids, they will only get an envelope with printouts of all the nasty texts they sent me or posted on social media…. KARMA… don’t burn the bridge that leads back to your inheritance.

  23. I am sam verdict from Austin Texas United State.It has always been my desire to help people out with their problems no matter how little my contribution may be.

    I also want to use this medium to keep to the promise i made to BABA ARUOSA that if he could help me get back my girlfriend i’ll spread his good works all over for everyone to be hopeful and confident that any problem they are faced with in their relationship/marriage has come to an end because there is solution to that problem.

    I was faced with a heart breaking relationship problem with my girlfriend. i was in a relationship with my girl for more than 2 years and we already made plans we were going to get married. suddenly she started acting differently and get upset at everything i do. our relationship got real nasty and she told me she wasn’t interested in me anymore. she said she does not love me anymore. i didn’t know all this were happening because she was seeing a new guy until i found out.I kept on pleading with her to accept me back because i was so in love and my life revolved around her.i tried every possible means to change her mind all to no avail.

    Things got bad for me because We were working in the same company so i get to see her always.i was in severe pain because our love life was so sweet before things got messy.This pain continued until i spoke with a close friend of mine who out of pity led me to a great spell caster called BABA ARUOSA whom he told me was extremely powerful and has helped him with a problem.

    So without any delay i contacted him. immediately i contacted him i knew he had the exact answers to my problems because i could feel his powers from his carefully selected words and calmness.I told him my problems and immediately he told me what to do.I did what i was asked to do and never doubted him.Immediately i began to see some positive changes and everything began to work out well. my girlfriend returned back and asked for my forgiveness.Finally my crumbling relationship has been restored and everything has been well for us and we’ll be getting married soon. all thanks to this great and powerful spell caster.
    Remember this testimony will only be meaningful if not ignored so anyone with relationship/marriage problems should contact him through his email : templeofsupernaturalcontact(at)gmail(dot)com for his help. i know he’s capable of solving your relationship/marriage problems.

  24. ITS BEEN 3 years since my rights were taken and he kept her for a year from me her mommy! My ex husband had me put in jail on a contempt charge. He told the judge I was witholding my daughter , when really I had no transportation . The judge took my rights away after putting me in jail for 72 hours and not even asking me my side of the story.

  25. Alienation is abnormal and antisocial.
    Any resident parent NOT prompting and promoting shared and equal parenting has a problem and is crying out for help in some way, for one reason or another.
    Schools should be on high alert and report back to social services when only one parent is a contact unless there is a registered death or legal docunent reasoning why the second parent is unavailable.
    Joint appointments with/without all minors to discuss parenting relationship problems must be given precedence. Any GP, or medical professional knowing of a situation where a parent is being rejected is condoning abuse of a child. They are charged to act to prevent harm by the Hippocratic oath. It is society’s responsibility to stop family breakdown and not to turn a blind eye. The savings of prevention Vs cure and successful treatment of trauma by early intervention are essential.
    The harm done by blocking parental love, security, and care to the development and reasoning of any child is abuse. As is teaching fear, lies and hatred. This causes immense trauma damage to the mental health of both.
    It is often used as a form of revenge and domestic abuse against a partner not wishing to continue in a domestic, intimate or financial relationship with the other parent.
    We are missing the Church of England leadership, influence and teaching on social relationships, family values, individual responsibility, ethics and morality.

  26. Alienation is abnormal and antisocial.
    Any resident parent NOT prompting and promoting shared and equal parenting has a problem and is crying out for help in some way, for one reason or another.
    Schools should be on high alert and report back to social services when only one parent is a contact unless there is a registered death or legal document reasoning why the second parent is unavailable.
    Joint appointments with/without all minors to discuss parenting relationship problems must be given precedence. Any GP, or medical professional knowing of a situation where a parent is being rejected is condoning abuse of a child. They are charged to act to prevent harm by the Hippocratic oath. It is society’s responsibility to stop family breakdown and not to turn a blind eye. The savings of prevention Vs cure and successful treatment of trauma by early intervention are essential.
    The harm done by blocking parental love, security, and care to the development and reasoning of any child is abuse. As is teaching fear, lies and hatred. This causes immense trauma damage to the mental health of both.
    It is often used as a form of revenge and domestic abuse against a partner not wishing to continue in a domestic, intimate or financial relationship with the other parent.
    We are missing the Church of England leadership, influence and teaching on social relationships, family values, individual responsibility, ethics and morality.

  27. 5 months. Im completely broken. Ive lost a piece of my future. Im still fighting but I feel so hopeless. Never thought this could happen. I worry about my daughter every day. My other two children keep me going.

  28. I was so close with my daughter. It’s been 5 months now. I don’t understand how this could have happened or how people can be so cruel. I’ve grieved and still grieve. My other 2 children keep me going. Im still fighting.

  29. 5 years 5 months
    My twin boys ..now 17
    There father – I was frightened of him every day
    I loved my children deeply ..I thought we were so close . They would wipe my tears
    But the day i left ..they stayed with him
    I am a good persoN …the courts didn’t help and I got deeper into debt trying to fight for my kids …I was broke and heart broken. I lost everything
    My kids think I am a slag …I am not …I was a good mum who wanted a better life
    The courts didn’t help and now I’m still trying to heal …my life was in shatteres but I had built a new life and when my children come back I will prove to them I wasnt wrong to leave their father

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