Why shared parenting is ‘just a fairytale’ for so many

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The Shared Parenting Bill which was introduced in 2013 has failed thousands of parents in the UK, a leading families campaign group has said.

Many estranged parents who believed the new laws would give them equal custody rights over their children have seen very little improvement in the last four years according to D.A.D.S. (Dads against double standards).

Andrew John Teague, who set up the group, said: “This Bill was supposed to make it better for people, allowing joint custody which would make contact with your child far more satisfying and comfortable for all concerned. But it didn’t make provision for the kind accusations parents can make against each in the midst of a break-up.

“We took a straw poll of our members and it was like one voice … shared parenting is a fairytale for most people.”

Sadly, the lack of change brought about by the Bill was predicted before it was launched by Baroness Butler-Sloss, who was the first woman Appeal Court judge and  president of the Family Division of the High Court.

She reported saying at the time: “The problem about the phrase ‘shared parenting’ is the perception that parents have as to what it really means. I’ve heard one father who went into court saying, ‘Once this law is enforced, I will get half of the child’. Well that’s ridiculous. The child has to live in one place, so the duty of the court is to do what is best for the child.
“I think all parents should be sharing their children but that requires parents to be sensible, to co-operate and to look at what is best for the children.”
The amendments to the 1989 Children’s Act was designed to give children new rights to maintain relationships with both parents.
The Law Society also at the time described the Government’s proposals as “seriously flawed”.
D.A.D.S. members were asked: Do judges ever grant 50/50 custody or is that too much off a fairytale ending?


Here are some of the responses:

Paul: Fairytale I think.

Maureen: Sadly fairytale – so many alienated parents have been fighting years to get once-a -fortnight.

Geo: Fairytale for the mother, nightmare for the father.

Adrian: You have more chance winning the Lotto.

Krista:  I have read about people in groups getting it.

Liz: 50/50 if granted doesn’t guarantee anything…it takes a cooperative parenting agreement

Maureen: Requires adults to be adults and do what’s right.

Gary: I’ve got a 50/50 order.

Angela: My sister and her ex share 50/50 custody of my nephew. Never lose hope.

Mike:   I got it and joint custody, but it’s not worth the paper it’s written on as I have found out.

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2 thoughts on “Why shared parenting is ‘just a fairytale’ for so many

  1. Hi Andrew could you do me a anon post please.

    My small take on PA, if a NRP is willing to spend all his/her free time with their children but the RP is putting limits on this time being spent and the courts have also put an order in place to state these limits, how is it fair that 1 parent gets to spend more time with the children and also decide what time is spent with the NRP, this then making the NRP in a position to tell their children possible lies about why they can’t see them for x,y,z reason so not to make the RP look bad for making that decision for them, this could help in the children growing up thinking mommy/daddy wanted to do x,y, or z before spending time with them despite what little lies you tell to keep the status quo and the minds of your children innocent. So why is it if you was to go to court and put your case forward that as the NRP at the moment if I became the RP the NRP can come spend time with the children as much and as long as they want despite anything that has gone off between us I would want us to have a full equal share on everything in our children’s lives with no limits decided by anyone as I wouldn’t want to be the 1 in years to come have to say to my children yes I limited time with your mommy/daddy, if that time was limited for any reason it would be because the NRP decided to and decide to handle how they wanted to. But the courts,ss,cafcass won’t abide to this fairness they rather abide to the RP saying I want the NRP to have these set days and times forcing a time spent decision on the NRP and forcing them to lie to their children because if you do put your children first who in their right mind to young children would say sorry I can’t see you because your mommy/daddy took me to court and forced me to spend less time with you. The way I see this is if the current RP wants to set limits because they want some alone time or whatever reason why not hand over residency to the NRP who is willing to put their children first and be amicable. This is just 1 way the RP courts cafcass and ss aid in PA the forcing of time spent and lies being told to the innocent minds of the children which later makes the NRP appear to have better things to do than spend time with them which we all know is a lie.😭
    Also the RP has no clue as to the part of being there for the children through the night the NRP slowly gets faded away as a main parent for them when they awake from nightmares or being poorly, constantly seeing and feeling that 1 parent nurse them back to health and feel safe, the RP can’t imagine the feeling that has on the NRP or the affect it has on the children, that’s why I for 1 knowing those feelings if I was the RP I would not be the 1 to force and decisions or ill fellings like this and would allow the NRP to make their choice in the way we were to live I would be happy to still carry on as a family despite our differences to make sure there was no hurt to anyone, lets just say that’s because I’m an adult and a caring person with a big heart. As this is my situation why wouldn’t the court grant custody to me that is wanting to spend time with my children

  2. 50/50 what a joke. I’m having to go back to court for access even know that I have a court order. Court order that allows me 2 weekends a month. Don’t see my 6 year old son in the week and I’ve never been able to collect him from school. 50/50 marriage is also a joke as I got less than 30 percent. You try and be the best you can and having to fight to stay in your children’s life is becoming normal for most loving parents. Court, Caffcass, CSA don’t care. I fight until my last breath to be able to have 50/50. There should be a TV program showing the nation what really goes on!

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