The never-ending tour to end the tyranny of parental alienation arrived at No.10 Downing Street recently and years of evidence against the family courts and cruel ex-partners was handed in.
In a way it was the culmination of almost three years of hard work by victims and campaigners across the world… ‘the writing is on the wall,’ some were saying.
But for fleeting moments at least, the writing wasn’t only on the wall, it was on the pavements of London.
Broken-hearted dads and mums scrawled messages and names in chalk on the floor, messages like ‘Daddy loves you son…’ and ‘Happy birthday’. Messages of love written in the dirt of one of the world’s most powerful cities destined to be walked on by people who don’t care.
And in their own ways these simple multi-coloured chalk words represented the whole battle … the love for a child walked on by those who live with power and crush it under their authoritarian boots.
The Nazis of family life.
The Downing Street visit was a major part of the third PA Day of reasonable protest and had a knock-on affect with events – including a barbecue in Texas – giving support across the world.
Campaigner Andrew John Teague had tears in his eyes as he gave me details of the march from London’s Courts of Justice to No 10 Downing Street.
It has been a long hard two year struggle for Andrew AND THOUSANDS of other as they try to get those in power to recognise the turning of a child against one of its parents as a crime.
And it has taken its toll.
The simple – yet harrowing – facts are these, mothers and fathers across the globe are killing themselves out of despair after being lied about to their children, lied about to their families, lied about to social workers and lied about to family courts.
Project 84, a campaign aimed at raising awareness, recently staged 84 human sculptures in Central London, representing the men who sadly take their lives. Mothers too are going down the same road to nowhere.
Andrew – and other people fighting to bring an end to this tyranny – point the finger in the UK at one organisation, and that is CAFCASS, the Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service.
Andrew took a deep breath and said: “On
Parental Alienation Day as we walked from the Royal Courts of Justice to
Downing Street, In a mark of respect I wore
a black arm band.
“Parental alienation kills people … family courts are, in my eyes, the worst killers in the land. They should not be allowed to act the way they do, they need to be stopped now.
Everyone can see what goes on – the
dead blind monkey on Mars can see it. It is time to stop the family court
abuse. Reform is needed.”
Andrew, who has walked thousands of miles in England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland, to highlight the battle, said. “I’m not a strong person, I’m just a person who used to fix cars.
“But I was bullied when I was young and
now I need to fight for what’s right. You get to the point you won’t let anyone
bully you and I have always looked to help anyone get through things.
“I made a vow to stand up for all the children who are bullied and terrified. Children need the help support and guidance of both parents. This all just breaks my heart.”
Andrew, from Swansea, who is in his mid-fifties, says that social services and CAFCASS watch his profile on social media and constantly monitor his Facebook group, D.A.D.S (Dads against double standards) which now has more than 20,000 members.
The authorities would of course deny
any untoward motivation in this but so many other victims of parental
alienation have come forward with similar stories it is worrying.
Others have revealed that social workers have ‘advised’ them not to comment on their children on social media and others say they have even been told not to tell their child they love them as I could traumatise them.
However, in what is being seen as a ‘turn round’, Britain’s Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at the Ministry of Justice has asked to see a video about parental alienation which is being sent to schools across the country.
Lucy Frazer, is the the politician responsible for the Ministry of Justice’s £1.2bn modernisation programme, and in a surprise email to Andrew her Chief of Staff, Timothy Stafford, has asked for a copy of the video.
He said: “If you would like her to see the video please send it to her Parliamentary office at the House of Commons.”
This is a turn-round considering that last year Ms Frazer was handed a copy of the video by Andrew, from National Association of Alienated Parents and D.A.D.S and it appeared to get forgotten about.
MP Andrew Brigden, who represents North West Leicestershire, is right behind the battle too.
And in an astonishing revelation Karen Woodall, therapist and campaigner from London said: “I understand the pain and suffering that so many go through and I do everything I can to help stop it.
“I wanted to be there on the day but unfortunately my mother, from who I was alienated for many years, is unwell and I need to be with her as much as I can in the days she has left.
“What is astonishing to me about my relationship with my mother now, is that even after thirty years of alienation, our bond is strong. It is stronger than any bond forced upon me by the person who alienated me from my mother, it is strong because she is my mother and that is enough.
“Never let anyone tell you that the bonds of parenthood are too weak or somehow not good enough. All children who are bonded to their parents in their early days and years remain that way despite any length or level of alienation they suffer. When the obstacles are removed and the alienation reaction is healed, the bond remains just as it always was.
“There are many reasons why children become alienated from a parent and their wider family, the major one is that children have to survive on a very lonely path after their parents have separated. I have campaigned for services for children of divorce and separation for most of my working life and I will continue to do so until the day comes when I can no longer do so.
“Children of divorce and separation have suffered for decades from the idea that in time they will simply get over their parents divorce. In truth some do but many don’t and the ones that don’t, suffer a particularly unpleasant experience called psychological splitting which is a defence against the suffering they are going through.
“Alienated children are suffering all over the world. Caught in the nightmare of parental fear, trauma and anxiety, children of divorce and separation are being pushed into a psychological space in which their lives are changed forever. There isn’t a child in the world who would ordinarily reject a parent outright, even those who are seriously abused do not do so. The only time we see outright rejection of a parent by a child is after divorce and separation or when there are dysfunctional family coalitions formed.
“When children do reject a parent outright they do so because they are in deep psychological trouble. This isn’t about parental rights, it is not about parents fighting, it is about a child who has been placed in the middle of a situation they have no possible hope of resolving. And when that happens it is not the fault of two parents in conflict, it is the actions of one parent who is influencing the child and it is child abuse.
“When I meet the alienated children I am asked to assist, each one of them looks downtrodden to me and lacking in hope. The lights in the eyes of alienated children are dim and they are often either blank in their faces or withdrawn and anxious. When those same children are reunited with the parent they have been rejecting the lights come on again in their eyes, their faces relax and the frozen watchfulness disappears. Alienated children need our help and they need it now. Their lives are being sacrificed to the coercive control of the parent who is causing the problem and the hopelessness that I observe in so many of these children is, in my view a burden too great for these children to bear.
“If you read my writing you will know that my work with alienated children has shown me repeatedly that to induce psychological splitting in a child is an act of child abuse. Parental alienation is psychological splitting in a child, a problem which causes them to align to one parent and reject the other.
“Alienated children are being abused, the lack of light in their eyes shows how hopeless they feel, the lack of attention to their plight is, in my view a worldwide scandal.
“Which is why parent marches like this one matter so much. Never forget that you are your children’s best hope for a healthy future. Never give up hope, never turn away. I know you won’t. I know you won’t because you know that your children are being harmed and you know that without your voices joining together to demand change, your children will not get the help they need.
“People change people and people change the world and parents of alienated children will change the world not only for their own children but for all alienated children everywhere.
“Know that I stand with you in the fight to raise the problem of parental alienation to public consciousness. This is a child abuse scandal hidden from view but increasingly it is seen and it is heard about.
“One day all children of divorce and separation will not only be rescued from this harm they will be protected from it in the first place.
“Until then, keep the lighthouse beam bright and your voices loud and clear, that way your children will know how to find their way home.”