This is a big juicy faggot – a love whose name we dare not speak!

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Some people have no Mr Brains do they! Faggot, a good old fashioned word gone puff! because of the internet.

None of  the world’s politically peevish geeks or brain-less robots seem to realise that faggots are part of our embroidered past, a bundle of sticks by any other name from half a millennium ago.

And the one thing it ISN’T about is having a gay day – Oh no! Wash my mouth out with Smile with Pride for uttering such words!

So, let’s get this right once and for all –  but before we do, let’s be clear this is a battle that has gone on for a decade within the porn-ridden, libel-screaming hallowed halls of the internet.

A faggot is food.

It is something we Brits started  getting our teeth into hundreds of years ago in the hovels of the Midlands and  huts of the wild mountains in Mid-Wales.

Yes, you prissy prats, we are talking about food made by  (amongst many others) our grannies and the legendary Mr Brain’s who’s been selling faggots since 1925…

Faggots are for putting in your mouth and swallowing and usually come in twos, fours and sixes covered in a manly gravy for your delectation.

Faggots are  meatballs,  Mr Great God Google and Mrs Nanny State Facebook,  made from minced off-cuts and offal; traditionally pig’s heart, liver, and fatty belly meat or bacon.

In the grand old days before good taste and tradition became the brain-dead exterminate-exterminate hunting grounds of the internet, they were a staple of a poor person’s diet.

And for your in information, in Yorkshire and parts of Lincolnshire faggots are known as ducks – and in Lancashire as savoury ducks!

Yes ducks!

(Image: Tom Wren SWNS)

Maybe they should also be banned from the internet then for extolling the virtues of noshing on our two legged feathered friends.

And ducks have webbed feet – so, maybe they should be banned for taking the mickey out of those who diminish the value of one of the new wonders of the world by sticking their silly feet in their stupid mouths all the time.

And let’s ban kindling too, for a faggot is also a bunch of sticks standardised in ordinances in 1474. Nobody in the UK buys kindling faggots and cries out in joy: “I’ve got wood! I’ve got wood!”

And let’s stick a needle through the heart of embroidery too – those little old ladies  very often call out for a knotted faggot to hold their garments together.

The knotted faggot stitch is genuinely known as faggoting and is often carried out in chintzy  cottages in the Cotswold’s.

Faggoting and cottaging go together like ducks of a feather!

This whole sorry and rather soggy saga began after a woman advertised faggots at her café called Fanny’s. Google removed the post because it was ‘offensive’.

Jo Evans-Pring, aged 63, was using faggots to promote her retro music diner ‘Fanny’s Rest Stop Café’ in Newport, Wales and paid Google to advertise it.

But one day after posting a picture of faggots with peas and onion gravy she got an email from Google stating the advert had been removed.

In the email, Google cited their content policy explaining not to post anything that could be construed as ‘inappropriate and offensive content’.

Porn and libel obviously do not fall into this category.

Ms Evans-Pring said: ‘The world’s gone totally mad if people are getting worked up over this. People need to spend their time dealing with real problems, not things like whether or not the word ‘faggots’ when selling that meal is hateful.”

But this isn’t the first time it has happened is it Mr Great God Google or Mrs Nanny-state Facebook?

Oh no!

Mr Brain’s itself had to launched a campaign recently to have references to it’s faggots reinstated after accounts were blocked for talking about them.

A  Mr Brain’s spokesperson said: “Surely there must be a way that Facebook can allow us to talk about a traditional British dish?”

Amazingly a Facebook spokesman said the temporary bans were a ‘misunderstanding’ and that faggot was not explicitly censored.

Oh yes?

Why then was a  man banned from Facebook for being homophobic after posting a comment about his favourite childhood dish which read, ‘I like faggots’. This was just a week after the site lifted a ban on videos of be-headings.

Robert Wilkes, aged 54, was referring to the traditional British dish but was blocked  for 12 hours after other users complained about his language.

He said: “Facebook has allowed beheading videos, cruelty to animals, stabbing and terrible swear words – but not faggots. It’s political correctness gone mad.”

The list just goes on and on – Brian Simms for instance, a gay Pennsylvania state representative and equality activist, found himself temporarily banned from Facebook after sharing an anti-gay comment from someone who called him a faggot.

Writer Mitchell Sunderland says he is permanently ‘flagged’ as a faggot user by Facebook and said this: “As my case illustrates, Facebook’s system for reporting and blocking users is deeply flawed. Facebook created their community standards to protect gays and other minority groups who are routinely censored, restricted, and rejected in the workplace and at school.

“Instead, we find ourselves looking over our shoulders as we type, worried that someone will misunderstand a word or a phrase and, instead of talking to us, report us to a ban-happy administrator. It turns out Facebook is another place we can’t be free.”

Google’s content policy says: “Published content cannot promote hatred or incite violence against individuals or groups based on ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, sexual orientation or gender identity.

“Content cannot be used to harass or bully individuals, including direct physical threats or exposing private information that could be used to carry out implied threats.”

But going back to the original source of this latest story of cyber stupidity, that little cafe in Wales called Fanny… isn’t the term“fanny” a British slang for female genitals?

Mr Great God Google and Mrs Nanny State Facebook missed that didn’t they, the silly ….

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