This vicious cycle of parental alienation


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When a parent has a child ripped out of their lives, it is the most horrendous emotional feeling that anyone can ever experience. Especially, when their child is brainwashed to villainize or hate the targeted parent who once had a caring and loving relationship with them.

Sometimes, alienation works in a manner that erases these parents completely.

The same holds true for our victim children.

They go from a having both parents in their lives to suddenly, just one. They are fed malicious lies about the mom or dad who is absent from their home. Sometimes, they are threatened with the aspect of withholding love or affection if the child does not conform to the alienating parent’s wishes, thoughts or actions.

Finally, there is the total erasure of past memories of the relationship they once had with this other parent.

However, there are other victims involved which includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and many others. No one is immune. Everyone will feel the wrath of what an alienating parent does in their quest to seek revenge against their former spouse over a failed relationship. They do this due to some form of underlying mental health issue or because of personality defects such as, control issues.

The dynamics involved in the process of parental alienation are great and they do vary from case to case. However, one thing that will never change is the destruction of familial bonds, the mental and emotional turmoil and the livelong effects it has on all victims of these actions. Even, in instances where a parent and child are reunited, the hidden scars with remain for a lifetime where no one can see them.

As our family courts continue to accept false testimony without the benefit of factual evidence and turn a blind eye to the injustices that are inflicted upon both, targeted parent and child parental alienation will surely continue to grow in epidemic proportions. They must rule in a manner in which a child’s best interest is actually upheld.

However, when they govern their courtroom with heavy handedness, bias and allow their personal feelings to shape final decisions, families are destroyed and many times are unable to recover. This certainly is not the true meaning of Best Interest when it comes to protecting our children. In fact, it is just the opposite and these children grow up without the benefit of having both parents in their lives.

We all aspire to having someone special in our lives and hope we can make our relationship work. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. 50% of all marriages will end in divorce and many times, children are involved. Most parents are able to work things out in an effort to shield their children from the effects of divorce. However, there are some who feel that winning is more important than the needs of their children.

When this occurs, the alienating parent demonstrates they are not the person who is capable of fostering a normal or near-normal upbringing of their child. This means it is up to our family courts to step-in, analyze the problem and do whatever is necessary to make things right again to ensure the child is protected from the ravages of divorce and parental alienation.

Should they choose to ignore what is happening, they are remiss in their duties as a guardian of family law and actually aid the wrongful actions of the alienating parent. This is when our rights as a parent and that of our children are violated under the constitution. Further, it is morally wrong for them to allow needless suffering to continue unabated without intervention.

We must not and cannot allow this to continue. Family relationships are being decimated at an unprecedented rate and unless something changes, our children will come to believe these are acceptable actions and will carry them forth into their own families as, they reach adulthood. Thus, carrying forward the vicious cycle of parental alienation.

Read more of David’s reflections in his book Parental Alienation is ABUSE

David can be contacted at: to request an interview


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