I remember, as a young boy laying in the grass during a warm summer’s night and just staring at the stars. It was peaceful time for me – almost magical, as I wondered with amazement how these faraway diamonds looked so bright and enchanting. I almost didn’t want those moments to end, but like everything, I knew it would once the sun rose again.
It’s been many years now, since I have done this. However, the memories still remain fresh in my mind. I only wish I could recapture the moments I once had as I look up into the evening skies, but these feelings are now gone and I fear lost forever to me. Perhaps, one day I’ll find something that will rejuvenate me in much the same manner as the stars once did. Until then, I will simply keep searching.
This is much the same as what happened when my first born child and step-son became alienated from me back in 2007. My children were my bright and shining stars who lit up my world. Unfortunately, the sun came up and they disappeared from my life to another country.
Many of you can relate to what I am writing today because, it has happened to you. One moment you are laying on your back, staring intently at the wonders above and in the next instant you are looking at a barren celestial landscape devoid of anything beautiful. Instead, there is nothing. Not a sliver of light nor, even a hint that these stars were ever present.
We can’t explain why or how they disappeared, but we know they are gone. The stars, much like our children gave us peace and lit up our darkened night. The comfort and solace we felt, is no more. Now, we feel a sense of emptiness where we should normally be filled with great joy and happiness. Can it be that we are the cause of our stars disappearing from the skies and our lives? I think not.
Many times, this is not the case. We were not at fault and certainly not to blame for what has happened to us. Unfortunately, there are dark forces who enter our lives and without us even realizing it, they will steal away the one, singular aspect of what defines us as parents and will rob us of it – our children, our stars. When this occurs, we feel betrayed and rightly so.
At the time, we were powerless to change what happened. Try as we might, there was nothing we could have done differently to affect the initial outcome. All that happened and all that was to come was pre-planned and we were left defenseless. Without a crystal ball to peer into the future, the course set before us was inevitable.
We may never regain the lost moments of tranquility we once had, but there are always ways for which to bring light into the darkness. I say this because, though the stars may be hidden from us at this particular moment the moon is still present. We just have to focus on this other light until we make our stars reappear and give us back our sense of peace again.
Until that moment comes, we cannot stop focusing on the other aspects of our lives. We may be distraught, hurt and even damaged from our experience of alienation from our children, it is important to remember that we must heal ourselves mentally and emotionally for the day when our stars do reappear.
Should we choose not to do this, we will never recover enough to feel the joy we once had once they are back in their rightful place – by our side, in our heart and in our home. Until then, we will always cast our eyes in the direction of the evening skies and ask “Where Are The Stars”?
You may contact Mr Shubert for interviews at iWasErased@gmail.com